Thursday, January 24, 2013

A new job a new start.

It's been about 2 weeks after I've start committing in this new job at STC as a admin assistant. So far, everything went out well and colleagues were very friendly.

This new job somehow benefits me in having more time to manage and fetch Eden after sch because its very nearby my house. In additions, it's higher paid than the previous job.
Now I'm just getting along well in handling the job scope. Hopefully it gives me a good environment and a starting ground to get the basic foundation and experience right. After all it's a semi govt company, the benefits and welfare are really not bad.

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Sometimes I can't help thinking. Why even being nice is so difficult when the one thing u want is just to be nice and yet others still suspect and deny your 'being nice' as an motive. Why can't some things just that easy and straight forward? I cherish my relationship with people more than I cherish myself. To be frank, I super rarely will have arguments with friends because many times I choose to let go and don't hold on grudges to the things that makes me upset or disappointed. Though forgive and forget is really the case but for me I can't say i will forget but certainly no doubt I can forgive most of the time. At times I really feel that I'm too generous to forgive that others took advantages of me. Stabbing me hard from the back. I don't need that kind of attention to stands out in the crowd as some may thought I will. And no! I don't, once again said!
After-all, as time goes by, I' ve learned and used to be loner or stands far back at one side of the corner. So this kind of attention don't suits me at all. To me, friends are valuables for cherish if its worth. Or not, I will just leave those who doesn't worth my concern far away. Straight forward. No need any evil plans or whatsoever bitchy-ness to get things done. That's just not my way of handling things. If I don't bother I won't even care anything about the person that no longer worth my concern. So if they think I'm trying to put in a little more effort to bitch or harm them , then they are just childish peeps. I'm not that girly bitch that your mother thinks of.

Nevertheless, I don't think any friends worth insulted as a being a dog/ Chao ah Lian if they said they cherish u as real friends. It's just plain childish thinking.

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Monday, September 24, 2012

Be realistic , be practical so you wont get weaken and hurt by the society.

Hey peeps!
Well, din know where to start it off anyway. Shall update a some about myself.

I'm currently now working in this ship service company name 'WILHELMSEN SHIP SERVICE'. Time's been flexible enough for me to fetch Eden after school and it's a 5 days job. Allows me to have enough time for Eden during the weekend.

Times really flies fast. This blog of mine had been neglected so much after I'm married and pregnant. Now, Eden is 20 mths old. Another 4 more mths to his 2nd birthday.*headache*

Life's getting so stressed up esp my BTO is coming soon. Got to work extremely hard for the future. How I wished I could proceed to my 'Plan B' but I dont wanna dig a hole for myself to jump. I know definitely for sure that I won't be able to handle it much as far as I thought. So the plan has to be push backwards.

Recently, I met up with so many people. Friends told me I've changed. Friends told me I'm naggy. Friends told me I'm Aunty. Said I've changed to a different Wendy. A big change; they mentioned. Personally, I feel that I'm now a person who will want to plan and talk a lot about and for the future. I find it hard to fit into conversations topics that I used to talk when I'm still single. Life for me now is not longer just chill, clubbing, shopping, movies, living day by day aimlessly without knowing what to do next. I have plans now when I do my things.Money, house, own shop,luxury, education and upgrading skills is my aim.

Be realistic , be practical so you wont get weaken and hurt by the society.

Thats my perception now.

I don't wanna be so helpless like how I used to be in the past after first time becoming a mom. No one will understand and put themselves in your shoes when they have never experience things like this alone. I feel so isolated. I hate it! Being so introvert that I didnt wanna talk it out. No matter how detailed you went telling, they only sympatize you for the moment and not thinking ways how to help you along or make you feel better. That's the ugly side of the realistic world. No one will feel for you, will help you willingly deep down in regardless of what. When it comes to problem , people will only think for themselves and when it's not their problem, they can just bloody bullshit you to stop you from sharing more to them. When they need help, they will expect you to think of ways to solve thier problems.This is the world. This is realistic that I've learnt and see through it.

Sometimes I really think I shouldnt bother to help them so much. For what for? I feel for them but do they feel for me the same way? I should just bloody hell be more CB than to be helpful. Time to stop thinking of being a savior or what. Time to faced the truth and protect yourself. Stop being so naive and fucking helpful for nothing.

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Back to workforce

Have been to many interviews lately, regardless of agents or direct companies. Finally, today I've receive a phone call from one of the agents that I'm shortlisted for the job. Yes! I've got the job! No more of traveling ample times for interviews now. It was quite difficult to find a suitable job to suits my schedule as I've to fetch and pick Eden back and fro school. I could only get a strictly 5 days job around the West/North area. Basic simple admins roles, no or seldom OT because I don't intend to send Eden school on Sat. Well, I'm gonna start work on next Thursday. So I gonna live like I'm dying and enjoy my days before I start working.

I'm feeling so nervous and anxious. It's been awhile when I've been away from the workforce. I'm really afraid I'm not able to cope especially I'm a mom now. Many choices and decisions I'm going to make, I have to think twice for myself and for the family.

There's so many worries. Hopefully I'll be able to cope and get use to it fast. I've always have high expectations of myself. I cannot let myself down so I'm actually giving myself a lot of stress. I thought so much lately, everything happens for a reason. Sometimes I really feel so pressurize for bottled up all problems to myself.. I have a feeling I'm gonna explode sooner or later. Sigh!

Off from the topic, I finally have the courage to start doing some exercise ytd.Done some crunches before I went to bed. Hopefully, this motivation will lasted longer. I missed my figure badly. Although I'm slimmed a little but it's still far from my previous figure and expectations. Gambate! Wendy! You can do it!

Friday, August 03, 2012


  • 写了几封信给你 我自己都已经忘记
  • 经过许多年 它们不曾呼吸
  • 写了几个字给你 我始终没有传过去
  • 自己偷偷暗藏 算不算心机

  • 我猜模糊了期待 就有勇气再重来
  • 暂时不明白 但我愿意等待

  • 谁记得谁痛苦你说的容易
  • 努力摹仿你轻松语气
  • 我的生活还要继续 好不容易

  • 就算是等待只换来对不起
  • 我还是可以说服自己
  • 舍得每一段风景 因为舍不得自己 再想起你

  • 心里有几个抽屉 是不能翻开的秘密
  • 经过许多年 假装不曾想起
  • 心中有多少回忆 是不能碰触的刺激
  • 渐渐变成悬疑 够不够美丽

  • 我猜模糊了期待 就有勇气再重来
  • 暂时不明白 但我愿意等待

  • 谁记得谁痛苦你说的容易
  • 努力摹仿你轻松语气
  • 我的生活还要继续 好不容易

  • 就算是等待只换来对不起
  • 我还是可以说服自己
  • 舍得每一段风景 因为舍不得自己 再想起你
  • Maze

    Sometimes I do asked myself. Who I really am? What am I? What I'm doing? What should I do? As times goes by, I find myself having lots of thoughts,many questions and wonders. I also find it hard to describe and express my feelings nowadays.

    Everybody is handling their own problems and doing their own things. Din have a time to sit down and have a nice chat with you. Understand what you've gone thru and listen to what u wanna say.

    I start to isolated myself. Restrict myself from talking out my feelings and troubles with people because they won't get to understand and put themselves in your shoes.Though they may say they understand they know, but by the matter of facts they know nuts about it. Probably just entertain you by saying some caring words that din meant from the heart , instead just want you to stop whining like a bitch and STFU.

    Everything change so much after I've married and gave birth. Now I'm a mother, I have to keep spare thoughts for others that I don't have time to think about myself. It's always about the money, others' feelings and more on educating and teaching my son. No! If you thought I'm regretting for getting married in my early age and having a child, the answer is definitely 'N.O'. I love my son very much. I put him as my everything before I am but here I am talking is about my own issue. Not about my son. I also human, of cos even I'm a mom, the perceptions and decision of going out to the workforce to earn every single cents myself not depending on people, educate myself and learning more skills in regardless of life,work or for family is always stronger pinned in my mind. 

    What I want is someone to talk to, someone who can really feel and understand you, believing in you, motivate you time to time telling you a simple words like "you can do it!", " I believe you can, believe in yourself" or a pat on you shoulder just to comfort you. It's good more than enough. Just that will warms my heart deeply. 

    Sometimes I really tired. Very tired on doing things not feeling appreciated. When things are well, no one turn back and praise you for doing good. When things went wrong, everyone turn to your face pin-point straight at your face, screaming, shouting and blaming at you for not handling the situations well. Those good deeds that one's done is easily forgotten , but one mistake you make and you are gone case. I've always been doing things for people, volunteer and helping out from my heart. Who ever volunteer to help to do something for me just for the sake of putting themselves in your shoes and feel you? Often I feel it's worthless helping, asking myself why do I still help? You know what? I don't know neither. I know it's worthless but if someone approach me for help sincerely, I will still try help in regardless. You can call me dumb or stupid but I don't ask for any returns just to see a smile on their face or a relieve.

    I gave up so much things now. Many things cannot be replace can neither be erase nor they have a re-do buttons for me. Though I told myself, I cannot keep look back and reminisce the past memories, have to look forward and embrace all the upcoming future but if without support, motivations and encouragement, I still can't see any future ahead awaiting for me. A definite goals to work to.

    Friday, February 17, 2012

    im back again!

    It's been months I've neglecting my blog. Spending most of the time taking care of the little bubbly Eden. He's been very active as time passes by. Finally, have settled his 1st birthday celebration and done searching and selecting the preschool for Eden. I've discussed and make decision with my hubby to go back work after settle Eden down in Mulberry learning Academy when he's 18 months.

    Went down wanting to pay the register fees ytd. To my surprise, they are having HMF outbreak this period! Quickly move Eden far away from the school. In the end, din walk in to pay. The staff there just pass me a set of register forms to be filled up. He just recovered from his fever , I dont want him to catch the bugs again. Wondered why he has been on and off feverish ever since his 1st birthday. Is there other way to boost up his immune system ? I dont wanna him to keep get sick after I sick him to school.

    Acc hubby down to Rolex shop to check upon his watch. My heels was killing me then. Had a few blisters walking with my heels. No choice, went into a shop in lucky plaza to get a new pair of heels. Later on, had a walk with hubby and Eden around Ion. Bought a Bebe white tank top. Was again attracted by the old rhinestone design tank after few years. Afterall, I was wearing my sister's all along, so thought of getting one for my own. Wanted to get the short sleeves Tshirt top instead couldn't find it at the Ion outlet. Had a dinner at Paradise Xiao long bao @ Ion level 4 with Hubby, Eden ,Hubby's 2nd bro and mil. Overall, it was a sumptuous dinner. Din manage to try the 8 different colour xiao long bao though. Shall try next time round. :)

    Next month march & is hubby's birthday again. Din know what to get for him again. I seldom get present for him. Was kinda guilty and sad as I was not working. Din have my own finance coming. Hubby booked a yatch tgt with his fren to celebrate their birthday there tgt. Can see he was very excited! HAHA! Hope Eden wont feel sea sick as well.

    Alright , I shall update again soon! See ya!

    Tuesday, August 16, 2011

    When the roosters starts to sing..

    Went to Kbox with shirley and Jayvier last night. It's been many months ever I stepped into there after giving birth to Eden.

    We had a enjoyable singing session especially Shirley , with the out of tune of 听海! 听海become 听奶!Lmao!!

    Afterwards, I went to meet Cassandra and we head to sk there the sintua to ask a for a peaceful mind. Without Eden by my side, my boobs really going to burst by accumulate all the milk. Went home thought of pumping see whether I can find the pump shield but to my disappointment, I really dint bring it along with me. Sadly, I had to compress the milk out by hand. Wth! It's not that tedious as I thought by still it's kinda tiring thou. My surprised, I'm still able to compress 150ml using hand. Hahaha! Luckily after that Eden hungry again and help me to remove the leftover milk. *Heng ah!*

    Hmm, later night got to call up eden's pd clinic to book appt for Eden. His phlegm problem is getting worse and affect his breathing and drink milk. He's having a slight cough n flu too. :( Hope he will be alright soon.

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    Location:Pasir ris ehub, kbox

    Thursday, August 11, 2011

    Life goes on..

    Nowadays been so busy that I rarely enter my blog.

    Eden is on his 7th month already. How time has passed so quickly.

    I'm moving on to another stage with Eden. He's in his stage two now and I'm glad to say that I'm still able to breastfeed him til now. I've also been cooking porridge or si Shen brown rice porridge(with yang Shen) and other purèes into his diet.

    Excited to more upcoming recipes that I can cook for Eden very soon!

    Thinking back when I just started as a mom, life was hectic and disaster. ( it is still kinda disaster now due to my little active monster)

    Ytd I was just chatting with mommy Kim about life we used to be when we were single ladies. Hanging out with friends late night without hesitation, going clubbing often without having to ask our hubby for permission,hang out with friends for a short break chill session without headache who could take care of our baby, sun tanning without worrying bout our baby and our figure and going out with our guy buddies for a chill-out session. All these we used to do without having to worry about anything, cos it's just ourselves. Now everything we do, we got to think twice of our family. Life's just isn't the same anymore. The commitment that we choose is a life-long issue, not something we can simply give up just within a snap of a finger.
    It's really a tough decision. However, we both had no regrets for coming this far. There's always pros and cons. You gained something, you lose something just like what my hubby always told me "东西每次都是这样的,有「一」好、没有「两」好。sigh*

    Oh ya! Nearly forget! People please congrats me! Because my applications for applying flats has approved and I've gotten my queue number. Although it's very far, 700+ but I still very glad we got a queue number. Hopefully we are still able to get a gd flat
    locations and unit. Anyway, FYI I've alrdy applied it for the 4th time! I've applied for archovale cove, punggol parcvista, tampines greenleaf/greengarden and fernvale riverbow/archovale isles. We shall wait for the time for selections of flat in oct. Wee! I'm so excited!

    Now these is one step nearer to our family planning's future. Next I shall get my car license ASAP and start planning for eden's 1st birthday celebrations! I hope I can make it a big gd blast for

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