I'm feeling lonely in this silent night.
I feel lost at times. Even more after I lost my phone.
I'm just back to square one.
I can hardly describe the feelings.
Life used to be happy and lively.
Now favourite humorous, trouble maker brother is happily married and staying with his small cosy family.
Always strict, fierce yet caring and funny sister , busying with her jobs earning more money and staying with her loving boyfriend hardly comes home.
Another always go exercise and gym stepbrother , is busy with his studies and earning money.
Life seems so boring when you grow older.
I dislike growing up.
Many things starts to change. The environment and atmosphere.
The stage where I can only accept the fact of growing up.
Cannot deny, I'm happy with many friends around me making my life more happening and joy but I just can't run away the times when there's no one at my side.
Not that there isn't any.
It's just that I don't want keep depending and rely on others.
I know I cannot take for granted that they always be by my side.
And I'm too weak for more hurt.
I'm always trying to make myself stronger than anyone due to my strong pride.
But am I always that strong? I don't think so.
Even machine will break down at times. Not to say other external 'virus'(gossip,rumours,betrayal...etc) invades in.
*Sigh*
As time passes, you may see a lot different people.
What I want in life isn't something complex. Just simple in being myself. Being happy.
That's contented enough.
Anyway, you gonna die someday.
It's not like you gonna live forever.
I'm just tired of people telling me what is right , what is wrong.
What is really right? Is there someone who forms the meaning of right in the olden ancient?
I only know what you think is right, doesn't mean that others think the same way.
So many different situations, so many different perceptions and feelings comes in added to it.
Few millions human living in this country, not to say the world.
How are you going to do things that satisfy everyone?
I'm tired... really so tired of living in this world...
Do things right and do right things..
Same words put in a different manner forms a different meaning..
Hmmm, sometimes I think language is just amazing isn't it? *rolled eyes*
