Never meant to be

I would never thought that this would become how it ends.

Just because of a small and unrealistic stupid dream of yours , make you suspect until we have to end it up like this. Do you think it's worth?

Last night, do you know how I wish to meet up with you? However, you told me "not today."

Well, I dint force you. I remember you told me once, you don't want me to control your freedom in making friends, so I thought maybe you really wanted times with your friends and so I dint bother you further.

I brought this sadness and loneliness within me, dragging my heavy footsteps travelling home last night. Though I had some thoughts that would you lie to me you are with friends but actually you are with her? Or maybe you don't even want to let your friends know that we are back together again.

But, all I want for you to know is that I care. I really do.

What makes me disappointed is that though I am sad but I never thought of disturbing you when you are outside with your friends cause those short sms-es you sent make me seems that you are busy.

To prevent me from thinking too much, I forced myself to sleep early last night.

Now, I know there's something which couldn't been prevent. The more you prevent , the more it may come. When there's time I needed you to be here, you ain't here for me at all but I didn't demand or make a big fuss out of it.

When there's time you needed me there for you, and I wasn't, you would make a big fuss out of a little thing. Like today, you really make me disappointed. 6 plus am in the morning, sms-ing and telling me that you had this weird stupid nightmare that I'm with other guy and you really let it in your mind that I probably not at home sleeping just because I dint sms you before I went to sleep.

It's 6 am in the morning, sun is coming out soon. Where do you expect me to be?

Yet, now, out of anger you scold me all kinds of vulgarities blaming that I was not there to pick up your calls and replying your sms-es when I was not in the the room and my hp was on silent mode? Claimed that I must be out there with some other guys.

I know it's my fault for not being able to answer your calls but do you have to do this?

After saying all those words and vulgarities to hurt me and blame me, a meaningless and not sincerity sorry is all you said but yet, blame me for not clarifying my innocent and resulted in making you make the wrong presumed?

You have changed. Changed to a person which I no longer attracted once and a person who will never satisfied whatever I do for you.

Disappointment.